so i forgot this webpage existed. which is weird because i used to go on it every day. i realized that i am not an artist and just make pathetic attempts at taking pictures to justify the fact that i spend all day on here admiring strangers' artwork, who are not really strangers, just people who live in my city that i wish i knew.

my summer has been lazy, i have accomplished nothing, except for the fact that i now know i never want to work in the service industry after i finish working at Quiznos. i cannot be nice to people who are not nice! that is simply a fact. my best friend is in beijing for a month to top it all off, so my social life has plummeted.

as i get closer to my junior year in high school, i realize more and more that i should really decide even remotely what i want to do afterward. all of my co-workers are "taking some time off to think about things", and i realize that this means that if i don't decide what i want to do soon, i will be basically living at Quiznos, putting in ridiculous hours pretending i will get somewhere in life.

despite the fact that i have horrible asthma, i was pretty successful at my smoking attempts. it felt like i put my throat in an incinerator but i did not have to take my puffer. i am impressed with myself.

it is my birthday on friday. sweet sixteen. i don't know what to make of it, but i'm getting old. i'm not someone who comes to terms with things easily, death and age and changing and what have you, my birthday has made me realize this.

also, there's a boy. he's had a really hard childhood, and no one can tell from the way he acts in the slightest. he says no one really knows him, but god i wish i did. He says the real him is without meds, and its not something anyone wants to see, but its the one thing i need to see. i don't really know where things are going, but all we have is the present anyway. leave it to me to find the one with the most baggage, and to also think we have some deep connection even though he just talks dirty to me via text.

so i guess im a vegetarian now too. i have really re-invented my self in all the horrible adolescent ways. soon i'll have scene hair and a septum ring or something foolish like that. is it bad that i think that sounds like a good idea? ohhhh me.

now that i have spilled my guts for all to see, i will go to bed.